Blogging shmogging . . .

So I am a dead beat blogger. Serioulsy, if my blog required food and water to stay alive it would be pushing up daisies and I would be writing a eulogy. I am so neglectful. Sorry blog.

But really, when do I have time? Late at night when no one is around and the rest of the world dreams of twirling through tulip fields and dancing on ladybug pincushions? I am a night crawler . . .

So for all of my friends who are much more committed bloggers, here is my life of lately . . .

I occupy my time being a wife/lover, mama dog, kickboxer, spinning freak, breakfast maker, real estate deal-maker, title company annoyer, marketer, worship leader, creative brainstormer, teen band leader, U2 analyzer, hair-doer, voice lesson teacher, chinese laundry woman (don't ask), mirror-breaker, gardener, short-order cook (for Josh), chef (for me!), Woodson walker, neighbor chatter, pre-cancerous cervix cell biopsy hater, gunslinger, fervent petitioner, one.org campaigner, closet-cleaner, granholm-despiser, badrap.org lover, charity event singer, christmas service planner, document writer, bad new car buyer, lack of sleeper . . .
Yeah, that's it in a "blogshell" . . .

My peace . . .

What more could a girl possibly ask for on her 6th wedding anniversary? 6th year tradition calls for gifts for gifts of iron or wood. I am making a slight compromise on this tradition and going with steel.

Josh desires a motorcycle to fulfill his extraordinary need for speed and road adventures even though many motorcycle drivers meet Jesus looking like road kill. I oppose this desire, however I am always willing to compromise. That is key. I desire an equally dangerous and beneficial piece(s) of metal. I would like a .38 caliber magnum glock and a shotgun.

I realize that this might be shocking, but it is a fair compromise between a husband and wife as they celebrate 6 years of wedded bliss.

I often find myself home along at night or working late. I come home and must face the dark alone. I have had one too many scary incidents take place which brought me to the realization that I need a glock. If the daintiest friend I have can carry a gun 24/7 (okay, so she is an FBI agent) then I find no reason why I can't be packing heat.

I am going for my CCW license on August 12 and picking up my peace sometime this week. So watch out all of you bad guys: Darla's got a gun.

We'll see about that motorcycle . . .

5 Year Old Girls . . .

There is nothing funnier than a five year old girl.

Aliya is a special little friend of ours who whispered in my ear, "Josh is so so so so so so so cute! And he is so so so so so so so a genius!"

This little girl just gave Josh's ego a big boost until she said, "Genevive is so so so so so so cute!" Josh was then crushed. He was no longer the only "so so so cute" one in Aliya's life.

Not only was Genevive so cute, but Aliya wanted to leave Josh's presence to find Genevive. When quizzed about Genevive's nationality (her name piqued an interest), Aliya replied, "She's DOG!"

Oh dear. Josh is less cute or just as cute as a dog.

I think you're cuter than Genevive, Josh.

Bad Blogger

So I have tried to blog, but the busyness of life takes up my time . . . I will try harder . . .

A typical day . . .

Things I heard, witnessed, or was a part of 3/11/2007:

Tears . . .

No sleep . . .

Sick stomach . . .

"We are family" dress-up challenge emails . . .

Blonde Afro

"My children will have 'I love mom' tattoos by age 2" . . .

A missed church service . . .

"We're gonna be sinking soon" . . .

"You always look so cute". . .

A phone call from Afghanistan . . .

Pictures of Netherlands, Belgium, Italy . . .

Reminiscing . . .

A broken computer . . .

A muddy dog . . .

"Mrs. Hicks looked like a flower child" . . .

Adam sets the table . . .

Best homemade burger . . .

Spunky's war medals . . .

Laughter . . .

A friend's mom has died . . .

More tears . . .

Josh and Adam oogle at Kevin Durant . . .

Dogs eat ice cream and one m&m . . .

Grandma dog is goofy . . .

Grandpa dog fixes a computer . . .

A funny smell . . .

A cup of tea . . .

"I want to rip up the carpet" . . .

"That's a touchy subject" . . .

The Colorado river . . .

How to install carpet, wood, & vinyl flooring . . .

The Hoover dam . . .

Josh wants to weld a fence to keep out terrorists . . .

Ions ago . . .

Quick change artist . . .

Love and sleep . . .

zzzzzzzzz . . .

Getting to know your friend . . .

As I am new to this blogging world so I thought I might share about myself. My friend, Bonnie (best pastor's wife ever), sent one of those "get to know your friend better" quizzes and this was my reply. I have updated it removed all the references to AON Home Warranty and Sharina - I had a phone glued to my hear, waiting on hold when I answered the quiz:

1. What time did you get up this morning?
7:00ish

2. Diamonds or Pearls?
BRING ON THE BLING - not that I don't fancy pearls, but . . .

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
"Pan's (scary and grotesque) Labyrinth"

4. What is your favorite TV show?
I watch Grey's Anatomy online while writing real estate ads late at night - you can skip all the commercials. Can you imagine if I messed up? "Nice 4 bedroom colonial with beautiful new surgical interns." I am a cable girl all the way, although I have not turned on the TV in over 2 months . . . Josh makes sure that ESPN doesn't go away, though. Top Chef (Bravo), Iron Chef (Food Network), Passport to Europe (Travel Channel), Dog Whisperer (National Geographic) I watch them all with equal infrequency, but I really like these shows!

5. What did you have for breakfast?
Hot oat bran with wheat germ and flax seed mixed in - Hot Peach Tea (Stash brand is BEST)

6. What is your middle name?
CHARMAINE . . . I had a roman history prof note that on his roster and he called me Charlemagne - yeah, hilarious, we're all laughing . . . I don't mind being called "great", but drop the "Charles" . . .

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
I would have to say Thai or Authentic Indian food - bring on the spicy!! Seafood is yummy, too . . . again, I really like food and wine-pairing and even like to read about food history . . . it is a family hobby, I guess . . .

8. What foods do you dislike?
Peas, anything overly processed or fake sweeteners. I don't like fast food either . .

9. Your favorite Potato chip?
Kettle style jalapeno chips - spicy yummy goodness! They are so spicy that you must eat them slowly to avoid hiccups. . .

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
Oh boy - I love all kinds of music! I love the worship song play list on my computer - right now I really like "You Are My Joy" by David Crowder and I never get sick of Nichole Nordeman or Sarah Kelly or Patty Griffin . . . I must admit that the most recent CD purchases for our home were The Killers and Norah Jones and both are really good, but the most listened to cds are the worship team compilation cds . . . practice PrAcTiCe PRACTICE!

11. What kind of car do you drive?
I drive our Chrysler 300, but I like driving the Hemi Ram on occasion. . . We have a Z28 Camaro and a 1970 Buick Electra convertible, too . . . they are all fun in their season and when they are running properly!

12. Favorite sandwich?
Crusty french bread with buffalo mozzarella, fresh basil and tomatoes. Or swap out the mozza for brie and toast it on the bread then add the basil and tomatoes (I picture myself walking through Victoria train station in London whenever this culinary delight touches my mouth). . . YUMMmmmm . . . I just got a panini press . . . oh the carbo joys . . .

13. What characteristics do you despise in others?
Judgemental people . . . I hate when I am judgemental, too, REALLY I DO - I always regret if I fall into that trap . . .

14. What are your favorite clothes?
Honestly, I love dresses more than anything - one piece of cloth hanging on your body - only one thing to pick out, no wondering if the pants are too tight, and generally no ironing needed because I have them dry cleaned! Of course, I like things cinched at the waist with ruffles and "girly" written all over it . . . I am a girly girl when it comes to physical appearance (I don't think that I have a overly-girly or dainty personality to match - so I need balance)! I don't like when people think you are "dressed-up" just because you have a dress on . . .

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where WOULDN'T you go?
Antartica - no desire . . .no reason . . .

16. Favorite brand of clothing?
I don't have a favorite brand . . . I do own a lot of Betsey Johnson, J. Crew, Free People, UO clothing because they fit me well, but the things in my closet have come from a wide range of places - from Target to Niemen Marcus to street markets and ebay . . . I am not that great of a bargain shopper, but every now and then I find a deal - I bought a $400 dress from Lord & Taylor last year for just under $40! That was my deal of 2006 . . .

17. Where would you want to retire?
Laguna Beach, CA or Brugge, Belgium - that means I'm really rich, too . . .

18. Favorite time of day?
Morning or late at night . . . it depends on the day and what is going on really . . .

19. Where were you born?
Warren, MI

20. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Michigan Football and Detroit Tigers . . . I love sports! These are nostalgic events for me . . . My dad lived and breathed baseball and was a pretty good baseball and softball player back in the day . . . We used to stop on the side of the road and watch random baseball games when we didn't even know anyone on the team . . . Going to a U of M football game in Ann Arbor was a pilgrimage that my family made each year as I was growing up . . . It's all fun now, too, because Josh is a huge fan of both!

21. Pepsi or Coke?
Neither - soda makes me violently ill . . . and apparently so do Lays potato chips - Last night I ate too many of those while putting together our foam family channel cut-outs and fell horribly sick when we arrived home . . . Note to self: don't eat Lays chips again . . . I hate that my gall bladder doesn't like grease!

22. Beavers or Ducks?
Platypus?

23. Are you a morning person or night owl?
Night owl for sure! But I am the occasional morning person . . .

24. Pedicure or Manicure?
Manicure, but NO nail polish . . .

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
My sweet niece, Itsy Bitsy Izabelle . . . she is my favorite news . . . . . . Moving to Vegas to pursue my showgirl career might be news . . .

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
I wanted to be Pancho Barnes - she was a female pilot like Amelia Earhart . . . so I didn't want to just be an aviatrix, I wanted to be Pancho Barnes . . . It's perfectly reasonable to believe you will be a totally different person with a new name, dark hair, accent and pilot license when you grow up . . .

27. What is your best childhood memory?
I have soooooooooooooooo many! I did love going on family vacations - my parents took us to Disney World and such, but they were history buffs so we took several "historical vacations" mixed in to visits with Aunt Rhonda. I remember when we happened upon Mystic Seaport, CT for the first time - that was incredible and the first time I ever saw a blue lobster . . .

28. Piercings?
2 in my ears . . .

29. Ever been to Africa?
No, but I will get there . . . I would like to visit Morocco, South Africa, Mauritius, and wherever else life might take me. I will NEVER go on a safari . . . I have watched too many National Geographic specials where people are mauled by lions and hippos . . .

30. Ever been toilet papering?
Too many times to remember . . .

31. Been in a car accident?
Four. The first time, my mom was pregnant and ended up having her 4th miscarriage (there were several between me and Adam). The second time wasn't really an accident as much as bad luck - Kris and I were caught up in a drive-by shooting when I was in 10th grade. Kris's window blew out and I was shot. We have these crazy photos that the police took of my blood covering the interior of the truck. The third time was driving with friends to a winter retreat and the road iced over. We were in my pickup truck, driving in one-lane construction between cement and steel barriers. The truck smashed between the two barriers for 1/4 mile before is stopped - it was like a jerky carnival ride. The last time, I was hit head on by a lady who ran a stop sign - my airbag deployed, fractured my ribs, bruised my lungs and burned my arms.

32. Favorite restaurant?
Of all time: This tiny little pub in Oxford, England called the "Eagle and the Child" (students call it the bird and the baby) - I used to go and drink cider ale with my friends and we would talk about literature - mostly William Wordsworth and Shakespeare - and the pub had the best FISH AND CHIPS EVER!!! This is where Tolkein and Lewis used to chill . . . I think it was built in the 14th century . . . My fav restaurant that I can enjoy more frequently now: Josh and I love "The Rochester Chop House" - the front section reminds me of English pubs . . . it's that nostalgia thing again . . . I love "The Whitney", too - again the atmosphere . . . Coach Insignia holds unforgettable memories as well - FANTASTIC sommelier!

33. Favorite flower?
Hydrangeas are my fav - I have some dried ones in my kitchen right now - they came from my bushes at the end of autumn . . . I had oodles of hydrangeas for my wedding . . .

34. Favorite ice cream?
Chocolate anything really . . . I just totally love ice cream - haven't really met a pint, half-gallon, cone, or cup that I didn't like!

35. Favorite Fast Food?
Panera - is the fastest food I like . . . I don't really like anything with a drive through other than Starbucks . . .

36. How many times did you fail your drivers test?
Zero

37. Which store(s) would you choose to max out your credit card?
William Sonoma, of course! I like Z Gallerie and would opt to go nuts on expedia.com, too . . .

38. Bedtime?
2:00 a.m.ish

39.Last person you went to dinner with?
Josh - we went to the Bath City Bistro in downtown Mt. Clemens - nice little place to drop in for lunch or dinner. Before that - Kris - I took him to Panera and Cold Stone on Kercheval the day after Izabelle was born - the congratulatory carb fest was in order!

40. What are you listening to right now?
The whirring of the computer and my conscience telling me to hurry up because I have more phone calls to make!!! Also listening to the shower water running and Woodson snoring . . .

41. What is your favorite color?
RED for decor - BLUE to wear . . .

42. How many tattoos do you have?
None. I think they look ABSOLUTELY tacky/sleazy/horrible on girls, but I don't mind them on guys (too many are scary though). . . Josh has a cobra on his arm - I like it and think he should get a dove on the other arm . . . see Matthew 10:16

Perfect poetry . . .

I thought it would be fitting to share my favorite poem - it breaks my heart and gives me chills each time I read it. Again and again it is a desperate prayer of mine . . . Thank you John Donne for sharing these words . . .

HOLY SONNET XIV
Batter my heart, three-person'd God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

10/02/1978 - 01/09/2114

I went shopping today and purchased a new twist tube of deodorant/anti-perspirant. I suppose that some people might buy deodorant in bulk if found at an unbeatable price - stock up and save for future sweaty armpit episodes. However, I did not find this Degree Ultra Clear Pure Powder with Body Responsive TriClear on sale. Neither did I have a coupon.

Nonetheless, I do plan on stocking up.

Upon placing the shiny aqua tube on my bathroom counter I noticed something funny. It had an expiration date. Yes, an expiration date. After the boldly stated "MADE IN USA" was printed EXP JAN9 2114.

WHAT?!Q#$!@&

2114!!?!?!?!?!?!?!

This stuff will live to be older than me! Older than my future children! Are you kidding?

I am stocking up and plan to roll Degree Ultra Clear all over my body to preserve me until January 9 2114. I maybe be really old and wrinkly, but I will smell great and won't be sweaty.